The Solution is Evolution

Recently, I attended a community screening of the documentary film, 13^th, made by Ava DuVernay. A friend of mine who is the president of Abolish Slavery Kentucky organized the screening. It took place at our town’s quaker meeting house. 13^th is a disturbing and important film. With clarity, excellent scholarship, and courageous journalism, DuVernay explains the metamorphosis of our nation’s system of slavery into different forms, most recently our prison industrial complex. The film shows our nation’s blatantly dehumanizing history of race in footage and photographs. Viewers witness the brilliant untangling of a multifaceted system of enslavement so clearly that no hiding place from the truth remains.

As I watched the film, I was reminded of other films I had watched that had changed my life. American Violet, which exposes the horrid problem of plea deals forced on innocent people. The Dhamma Brothers, which follows a group of men who are inmates on death row through a silent meditation retreat experience. White Like Me, which unapologetically examines white privilege. Each one of these films showed me myself, my position in society – my privilege as a white woman. Each one taught me more about the enormous systemic problems rooted in systems of oppression that run our entire country. 13^th has a unique quality to it, though. It is so incredibly thorough. It leaves no stone unturned. It presents the truth of our situation in an undeniable way that left my daughter and I nauseous.

In the conversation that followed the film, several participants discussed their shock at what they had learned – even those who had considered themselves “well-informed.” Many talked of their feelings of hopelessness at the entrenched and seemingly unstoppable ability of the system to continue its tactics of terror, murder, and control. These feelings are understandable in the face of this learning. They are understandable in the face of our present situation in the United States, which is undoubtedly an immune system response of white supremacy to what felt like progress.

As I listened to my peers discuss the film, I began to think about the parts of the film that included footage of Dr. King speaking. The scholars explained how Dr. King was hated, threatened, and dehumanized - and ultimately eliminated through murder. He was not seen then as the beloved man his memory has morphed into and is celebrated each January. Something happens to me when I hear Dr. King’s voice or read his words. It feels that I am in the presence of something beyond genius. To me, Dr. King was an embodiment of the holy spirit, consciously incarnated for a mission. Yes, he was a brilliant leader, writer, speaker – but he was also a prophet with a quality about him that could never be explained by education or upbringing. He was evolved beyond most of the rest of us.

In our discussion following the film, we talked about working to change the 13^th amendment. We talked about changing the Kentucky laws to not support slavery. These are good and right actions that I support. And, it is not enough. The film, 13^th, shows very clearly how whenever one version of slavery is challenged, it simply takes a different form with new euphemisms and corporate, institutional and political support from beneath the surface of what the public is shown by the powers that be. We must think differently about solutions. We must think evolutionarily.

Films like 13^th show the depth and breadth of our trauma as a society, our collective sickness that separates us from each other, ourselves, our bodies, our hearts, and the earth.

Following the Breadcrumbs of our Evolution

As a psychologist, I specialize in the treatment of people healing from complex trauma. We have learned much about the nervous system and trauma in the past 20-30 years. We now know that trauma can no longer be defined and characterized based on the objectively assessed severity of events that occurred but rather must be understood by looking at the lasting effect the events had on a person’s nervous system. It is the stored nervous system patterning in the body that ignites the behavioral, emotional, and cognitive symptoms that we call post-traumatic stress disorder or complex post-traumatic stress disorder (which stems from long-term distress, neglect, or abuse).

In treating post-traumatic stress disorder, we help clients become more aware of the responses locked in the nervous system, and to repattern them with a multi-directional approach. We start with understanding the different branches of the nervous system, and how to recognize when those branches are activated in the body.

Interestingly, the newest branch of the nervous system is the ventral vagal system. By newest, I mean most recently developed in our never-ending process of evolution. The reason this is interesting is: the ventral vagal nerve is the nerve of connection. The trail of breadcrumbs we need to follow is in our nervous system. The ventral vagal nerve, the newest branch, tells us to connect to heal. This is why the current level of intentional divide and conquer strategizing is weakening us as a people. It makes us sick and regressive because it inhibits our natural, evolutionary need to connect.

In this helpful chart from Deb Dana’s Polyvagal Flip Chart, we can see (in the top section) how we are designed to function. In the middle and bottom sections, we can see what happens in the nervous system when there is a threat detected. When the ventral vagal system is online, its harmony oversees the rest of the nervous system branches, helping them do their jobs from a nonreactive stance. When it is activated and functioning, we are within our window of tolerance. People can engage with the world with flexibility and connection when the ventral vagal system is functioning. The ventral vagal system is actually designed to handle stress quite well, and allows for us to tolerate the unexpected that happens in human life. Notice the times you see people use connection with a kind facial expression or a sweeter, even tone of voice to harmonize what feels as though it could become a threat if not neutralized…this is the connection function of the ventral vagal system. The issue is that for those of us with complex trauma responses stored in the body, it is sometimes hard to tell what is just stressful (and manageable) and what is an actual threat.

When the ventral vagal branch shuts off because threat is detected (whether perceived or real), the nervous system shifts to a sympathetic response, and connection becomes unavailable. When this first kicks in, it is that moment when you realize something has shifted; that moment when you might say to someone, “Are you okay?” but you can tell they are not (even if they say they are). Trying to connect while the nervous system is activated in the sympathetic branch would be like trying to hug someone when they are wearing a suit of armor. A protector has taken over. Notice, on the chart, how the sentences in the yellow boxes change from the top section to the middle section. The language in the top section is that of regulation and flow. In the middle section, the language shifts to protection, fear, and survival.

When we look at the dorsal vagal branch of the nervous system (the purple boxes), we can see that when the ventral vagal system is online, the dorsal system simply helps the body rest and restore. Once the system goes into a sympathetic response, though, the dorsal system puts digestion out of balance. If the detected threat persists and the person is not helped back to the window of tolerance by turning the ventral vagal system back on, the sympathetic response becomes unsustainable. The system turns to the dorsal vagal system to survive by shutting down. This shut down response can look different ways for different people in different situations.

Our nervous systems are very good at learning and holding patterns. Whatever response worked in a similar situation to help us survive will be repeated, and quicker each time it is activated. [Kimberly Ann Johnson writes about this in her helpful book, The Call of the Wild, if you would like to know more.] A dorsal shut down response can look like dissociation (being less “here”), intense and debilitating physical symptoms with no discernable medical cause, lack of emotion, chronic pain, lack of facial expression, and immobility. I have described it as the nervous system’s version of: Hide under the table until the threat passes!

When we have trauma responses patterned into our nervous systems and they are not intentionally healed and moved out of the body and psyche (or an actual threat remains close), the sympathetic and/or dorsal vagal threat responses can become chronic and immediate. Meaning, a person can remain locked into one of those states. Being locked in the sympathetic state can mimic extreme anxiety or OCD, with hypervigilance, reactivity, quick anger or fear, racing heart, shaking. A chronic dorsal response can mimic persistent depressive disorder, with a shrunken emotional range, dissociation, and immobility. The immediate jump into a response to threat – even if just perceived – can mean that a person with CPTSD might spend very little time in the window of tolerance, if any. It is a very stressful, “emotional roller-coaster” way to live. The hopeful news is that these patterns, even if chronic, can be untangled and a person can train the nervous system to turn on the ventral vagal nerve and widen the window of tolerance so that everyday challenges can be met with an energy of confidence and flow.

In order for the ventral vagal branch to be active and keep its place as the default “setting,” there must be a consistent absence of threat (either real or perceived). We can tone the nervous system through sensory interventions, simple eye and head movements and mindfulness practices. We do these exercises along with other therapeutic practices, like inner child work, building self-compassion, attuning to the body, and building an identity expansive beyond the symptoms of trauma. While toning the nervous system is simple, it takes practice and consistency to be effective. And, if we do these things while simultaneously experiencing ongoing threats that switch us into a sympathetic or dorsal response, it will be very difficult to remain in our window of tolerance long enough to build resilience there.

Macro/Micro

We are alive at a time in history that is no more or less violent and threatening than any previous time in history. However, we have these handheld computers that show us threats 24/7 if we tune in. We are perhaps more widely aware at all ages of the perceived and real threats in our world. I encourage us, though, to also consider the relationship between macrocosm and microcosm with these issues. The wider issue of division politically and in world governments is a reflection of the continued difficulty that humans have with connection in relationships. There is a correlation between the two – but I am not sure we can call it causal in any direction at this point. Rather, we must live in solutions that help both the macro and the micro – trusting that they are indeed in relationship with each other, and therefore, any movement, no matter how small or large scale, toward healing will encourage healing of the whole system.

“A healthful personal choice is a moral choice and personal work results in planetary gain.”

-David Richo

Psychoeducation is an important part of trauma healing – for the individual and for our culture in general. This information helps outline our criteria for what we must do in order to move in the direction of human evolution. The nervous system wants us to evolve through connection. To think evolutionarily is to think beyond duality, beyond the barbaric ways of handling conflict that have cost millions of human lives and terrible devastation to our planet. Have we not tried those ways of conquest and domination long enough? When one side wins, does anyone actually win? Is anything actually solved in terms of harmony and connection? What good has come of war? Ever? And yet it (and the constant threat of it) persists as the “go-to” for problem solving among nations.

As Edwin Starr sang in the 1970 hit, War:

War, I despise

'Cause it means destruction of innocent lives

War means tears to thousands of mother's eyes

When their sons go off to fight

And lose their lives

I said, war, huh (good God, y'all)

What is it good for?

Absolutely nothing, just say it again

War (whoa), huh (oh Lord)

What is it good for?

Absolutely nothing, listen to me

It ain't nothing but a heart-breaker

(War) It's got one friend that's The Undertaker

Oh, war, has shattered many a young man's dreams

Made him disabled, bitter and mean

Life is much too short and precious

To spend fighting wars each day

War can't give life

It can only take it away, oh

War, huh (good God y'all)

What is it good for?

Absolutely nothing, say it again

If we really think about it, there is never any reason good enough to begin murdering people. It does nothing to help us understand each other. It does nothing to produce connection. It does nothing to help us evolve into what we are meant to become. And, perhaps in order to evolve, we can at least examine at our war-focused culture and learn from these experiences. Maybe we can begin to see that there are no enemies, only other humans, and connection to these humans might feel more out of reach than fighting with them. But to connect is to evolve.

Dr. King said in his Beyond Vietnam speech in 1967:

Here are the true meanings and value of compassion and nonviolence, when it helps us to see the enemy's point of view, to hear his questions, to know his assessment of ourselves. For from his view, we may indeed see the basic weaknesses of our own condition, and if we are mature, we may learn and grow and profit from the wisdom of the brothers who are called the opposition.

——-

Following the ventral vagal line of connection calls for us to think using the wisdom of the heart instead of the calculating of the intellect. From this perspective, winning becomes irrelevant in the face of understanding. Understanding is of the utmost importance because it opens us to see from other perspectives, even those who we oppose. It makes unlikely connection possible because it invites us into an evolutionary place from which we can sense we are living into something we don’t yet understand. We cannot imagine a world in which Dr. King, instead of being assassinated, became our country’s leader. We cannot imagine what it would be like for the values of brotherhood and shadow integration to be the guiding principles in our social relations. The people we call prophets are often taken through violence. I believe this is because they represent a “threat” called true change. True change is truing. It positions us around a new center, new values, and a new way of seeing. It inches us toward using the new branch of our nervous system for what it is intended – connection.

Dr. King had to be unwavering in this commitment to something that he believed in for all of us, even though he saw better than many the severity of the obstacles that stood in the way, and still do. Evolution is slow and difficult because we can’t even conceptualize it with our human minds. The number of generations it would take to move closer to connection and farther from war culture is unfathomable to us from where we stand.

The House of Outdated Shields

The sympathetic and dorsal vagal responses we learned about above are like shields. Shields are necessary in war culture. We must protect ourselves against abrasive and aggressive attacks. However, protection without connection yields separation. Conflict without repair yields unhealed scars and estrangement. We know this, yet most of us have not the knowledge nor ability to do differently. Each of us can tell our stories of disconnection and estrangement, whether with family, friends, children, neighbors, or “those people” who are the opposite of us in some kind of belief or tactic. But we are not telling stories of reconnection, healing, resolution, and becoming close again.

We are sick because of our lack of connection, and we need healing. The nervous system shows us what is needed. It is our job to travel the ventral vagal path – over and over again, even when it is scary, even when we are not sure, even if we have never done it before – to evolve. It takes education, practice, patience, and teamwork. It takes cleaning up messes with each other, and with ourselves.

We cannot always actively heal through connection with others, even when we have the skills and willingness. Sometimes, the other person is not willing or does not have the skills or self-reflection needed. Sometimes an injury or betrayal has been too harmful or has gone on too long for a healing through connection to be safe and supportive of our individual healing. Perhaps our own woundings need our attention first, and we have to heal the rift in ourselves before addressing something with another. Thinking evolutionarily, though, we can consider the ways we think and what we do ourselves to be the most important component.

To be evolutionary is to create safety and wellness, harmony and intention – through difficulty and even from afar, if necessary. The shields of our conditioning are outdated. They belong to our past – not our future. How do we move in the direction of connection? These suggestions may seem idealistic or even unrealistic at first glance. I encourage you to consider them evolutionary.

·       Refuse to Dehumanize: Commit to seeing all humans as human beings, including their uniqueness and identities, even if you don’t understand them. See each person’s home, family and body as part of who they are, and treat what is important to them as important to you. An easy way to do this is to realize that we all share a home – the earth. No one is leaving and we have all always lived here. Refuse to go along with dehumanizing conditioning from the systems of oppression (patriarchy, white supremacy, heterosexism, ableism, capitalism, war-culture). A simple way to do this? Stop laughing at or making dehumanizing jokes. They aren’t funny.

·       Attune to Reality – Not Social Reality: People often say they listen to or watch the news “so they know what is going on in the world.” It might be more accurate for them to say “so they know what humans are doing in the world.” Consider that humans created society. Our social reality, created by humans, is not the whole of reality. Our days are filled to the brim with social reality – jobs, bills, money, phones, tasks, stuff. How much of our day is spent attuning to reality on a larger scale? Does social reality cause your body to breathe? Your heart to beat? The plants to grow? Rivers to flow? The sun to shine – the sun which makes all life on earth possible? The whole of reality is far greater than social reality. When we attune to that greater reality, we have the opportunity to not fully believe that “what is happening in the world” determines our experience of existence. Attune to reality, and remember it is not the same as social reality.

 ·       Open the Heart/Feel Your Feelings: Part of living in survival mode from trauma (micro and macro) is to close the heart center for protection. The ventral vagal nerve runs right through the heart center and the digestive system. Turning on the ventral vagal nerve opens the heart and allows for connection – not only to others, but also to our own emotions and instincts. When we descend into the body from the head and check in, we often find there is tension and tightness that could use some attention. Sometimes this can be anxiety from self-abandonment due to so much energy going outwards into the tasks of daily living. Sometimes this can be from stored grief from the pain of the past or present. It needs to come out. Practice stopping several times each day and placing your hand on your heart and checking in with the body. What sensations and emotions do you notice? What happens when you stop and give yourself this attention? What if we let ourselves grieve and cry when we need to, even if we don’t understand why we need to? An organization devoted to healing complex post-traumatic stress due to dysfunctional family systems suggests, “We have to feel it to heal it.” Imagine our world with people opening their hearts to feel what is happening. If we could feel it deeply, might we change course? Our hearts are wise informants.

·       Treat Every Difficulty as a Relationship Issue: Connect, connect, connect. Repair ruptures (as long as it doesn’t place you at risk for mistreatment)- with yourself, your close people, the earth, your body, spirituality, the past. See where you can connect and make relationship. What would your life be like if your relationship with yourself was primary for you, and you really knew yourself well enough to comfortably share yourself with others? What might it be like to listen to your child or teenager deeply to understand from their perspective, and praise their expression of truth – instead of pushing your agenda or forcing them to learn from your life experience? Would they trust you more? Would you be more connected? What if every issue, from family conflict to work conflicts to conflicts between nations, were to be treated as a relationship issue - where communication, empathy, and understanding were the goals?

·       Love Your Wounds: We have stored so much in our bodies. We have stored memories, beliefs, shame. We have stored narratives other people wrote about us to cover up their own pain. We have wounded children inside of us, locked in closets and hiding under beds, waiting for a safe, loving adult. Be that loving adult. Actively love those wounds inside of you so they can finally thaw, grow, and live.

Conditioning vs. True Self: Take the time to really consider what of your thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and automatic judgments are conditioning and what is your true self. Who are you? Are you what you have been taught to be? Are you who you are supposed to be? Or are you who you truly are? How do you know? Have you ever wondered? Examining your core values is one way to begin understanding this difference. You are here on earth to be you and no one else. Who do you want to be?

Own Your Part in Disharmony: Making amends is an evolutionary act because our society pushes us to appear perfect. We are not robots. We are human beings. We are meant to make mistakes so we can learn. When we make mistakes in relationships, we can do the work to understand why we did what we did. Perhaps we were afraid. Maybe we functioned from a wounded place in ourselves. When we work to understand the context from which our mistake arose, we can forgive ourselves and then make a sincere amends without shame. We open our hearts and say we are sorry, we own our part in disharmony, and in so doing, we sing an evolutionary song.

·       *This list is not exhaustive – leave a comment with your ideas for evolutionary action!

Progress is Not the Same as Evolution

Our society has made progress in many ways. The most recent boom of progress is through technology. Progress is limited to social reality. Evolution belongs to wider reality beyond our comprehension. We don’t control evolution because it is an archetypal potential. Through conscious intention, though, we can engage it and embrace it, challenging the ways of the past and reaching toward connection, even if we are planting seeds with effort today that will blossom in the next generation. I do not pretend this task of thinking and behaving evolutionarily is easy. And perhaps that is what makes it a worthwhile endeavor. Evolution is the solution.

From HEART pt 6, by Kendrick Lamar – another evolutionary human:

I had to bypass old mythologies; I had

Put my heart on display like it was an iMac

To all my young (people), let me be the demonstration

How to conduct differences with a healthy conversation

If that's your family, then handle it as such

Don't let the socials gas you up, or let emotions be your crutch

Pick up the phone and bust it up before the history is lost

Hand-to-handshake is good when you have a heart-to-heart

Use your heart and not your eyes (baby, just relax your mind)

If you got time and I got time (yeah, yeah)

Free your thoughts and watch them fly

Use your heart and not your eyes (mm-mm-mm)